Today is National Coming Out Day. As someone who is heterosexual, I can only pretend to imagine what it would be like to come out of the closet, especially to family members. Even if I had an open-minded family, how would I arrange this? Would I make a big announcement at Thanksgiving dinner with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins there? Or would I just casually mention something like, “I’m going to meet my girlfriend tonight for a romantic date” while talking to a parent on the phone one day? I really don’t know. I wouldn’t want to make a big scene and draw too much attention to myself (this would be true of any family announcement, even ones where they’d all be happy), but I might also want to explain or express some things so my family would know more than my sexual label. But since I am not LBGT, I can’t truly know what it would be like to have to go through coming out and the decision process. I know that not everyone has family, friends, or co-workers who would be upset or judge them. But I still think it could be a little awkward to talk about something personal. And, in the case of people who previously covered it up, it might make them feel weird to admit this in front of people.
And then it got me wondering how many people have passively, but intentionally, come out of the closet on facebook.
What I mean is this: Your mom requests you on facebook. You’ve been wanting to tell her that you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, etc., but you either can’t decide the best method, or don’t want to go through with the actual process, but you still want her to know. You could deny her request. You could hide your “Interested in”, “Relationship Status”, Wall Posts, or certain photos from her easily, but you decide to accept her request and let her see those parts of your profile so that she’ll find out without you having to go through the process of telling her in person, seeing her reaction, and possibly stumbling on your words or getting emotional while trying to explain.
I know some people who have come out of the atheist closet this way, or the [insert religious or political view that is different from your family, and you have a family that would think this is a big deal] closet. I also wonder how many people came out of the I’m Dating Someone Who Is Not of the Same Ethnicity As Me closet or the I Have A Job That Is Not Acceptable To My Family closet. Heck, there are a lot of closets in which we hide. So this could really apply to many different doors being open.
So I’m wondering – Have you, or anyone you know, come out this way? Do you think this is a good way to come out? If you came out before facebook existed, do you think you would have considered it if it were around back then?